I'm scared of heights!! That is my phobia.

3rd May 2018

I’m scared of heights!!!  That’s my phobia!!  My heart beats out of my chest, my body shakes and I let the negative thoughts in that tell me I can’t do it and that I am going to fail or worse still fall off this cliff and plunge to my death.

But rather than let those feelings win and stop me from experiencing certain things in life I am determined to conquer my fear and take myself out of my comfort zone.  This is, after all, what I encourage my students to do on a daily basis!!

So I have signed myself up to an indoor rock climbing course with my sister.  Who incidentally is not scared of heights and climbs the walls with ease as if she where Spiderman! 

As soon as I get there I see how high the wall is and in come those negative thoughts. And it’s now, at this moment, that I begin the process of practicing what I preach. 

When a negative thought enters my mind I block it out or spin it to a positive. Rather than “I can’t do this” its “I can do this”. “I am going to fail miserably” becomes “I am not going to fail”, rounded off with “what’s the worst that can happen?”

Now here comes the important part. 

I listen to the instructor as she tells the group how rock climbing works, how to stay safe and how to use the right technique!!  Think of a machine.  If you understand the machine and how it works you can use it more effectively. If you understand what is under the bonnet of a car and how it works you drive the car better.  If you understand the anatomy and the mechanics of the voice you can use it more effectively and with more confidence.

So, if I can understand and learn the right technique when it comes to climbing I have a better chance of getting to the top of the wall, less chance of falling and with that more chance of gaining confidence in myself and my ability.

The first time I climbed the wall I got a quarter of the way up.  Not great but I didn’t see that as a failing and let it put me off. The second time I got half way up.  Rather than say to myself “I’m rubbish, I still only got half way up while everyone else has made it to the top” I told myself “you got higher than your first attempt and this is my journey and no one else’s. Go me!”

The lessons I have learnt are:

1. Do not compare myself to other people.
2. Negative thoughts are not helpful and should be told to sod off.
3. You have a better chance of overcoming your fear when you face it head on, ask for help and try to understand how the process works so you can try to think logically and with control.
4. When you have success not matter how small hold onto it and move forward gaining confidence as you go. Do not allow yourself to take any steps backwards!

I am hoping to get to the top of the wall next week!!